a place where I share my thoughts, my life, and my pictures

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Where, When, Why....

Beach House Window Necklace

Sterling Silver Cuff

Where have I been? What's going on? Why haven't I written?

I haven't wanted to. That's the God's honest truth. As my husband with ages of wisdom says; "Sometimes you need a break, even from the things you love the most."

It's true. I go through droughts when it comes to creating. It also doesn't help that the packages I've been anticipating haven't arrived. Makes me hold out for their presence, I guess.

Also, I've been hanging out. With him:

...a lot.

Not that I don't usually, but it's been different. Ever since the haircut things have been different. I have been different with him.

You see, I've been a bad mother. I've been searching for answers that cannot be found, only to learn that my gut instinct on my own son is more profound, more all-seeing, more revealing about the boy that my son is, than this stupid fucking label he's been given.

He's not developmentally delayed. He's just a late-talker. And since he's been given a label I think I've treated him that way. What a stupid mother.

What a ridiculous way to treat your own child. I'm probably making it sound worse than I've actually been towards him, but I'm damn sure I'm my own worst enemy.

He's smart.
Just in ways that aren't typical for his age. But God forbid your child isn't talking up to the par of other children and he's either, autistic, or delayed.

Well, they don't know him like Terry and I know him. They don't see him putting puzzles together, or counting things, or seeing shapes in ordinary life, or remembering how to get to people's houses, or finishing memory games in under 90 seconds...

So I've just been talking to him. Talking to him and playing with him in a way that's purely care-free. And I've been having so much fun, that my everything else has taken a backseat.

I'm sorry I let his differences become abnormalities in my mind. I'm sorry for being so judgmental of my own son.

But what good has come of it?

I've learned a good lesson.


Graphic Design by Tara said...

Don't beat yourself up about this, the important thing is that you came to the same conclusion we all do eventually. All kids are different and there is no single label for that.

Don't worry, feeling guilty just means you are an awesome mom!

Joasia said...

A VERY awesome mom :] And I think it's fitting that with this new outlook came a piece of jewelry entitled "Beach House Window' (which is GORGEOUS, btw -- what stone is that?? It's so ocean blue!!).

PS: So thaaat's what the mandrel was for... ;D I love it!

Michelle said...

Good for you! You're all going to be OK :-) Also, awesome necklace!

Kelly Reece said...

Thanks ladies. I'm always needing little lifts of confidence here and there. But I'm getting better on my own every day.