Detach

I will not blame my husband for the slow depletion of my soul.

I blame myself for letting him for so long.

However:

The resiliance residing within keeps me alive.

Resilience is the property of a material to absorb energy when it is deformed elastically and then, upon unloading to have this energy recovered

I will bounce back.

Fast.

I wasn't loved.  Neither was my son. 

Soon, love will surround us, in all the ways I wanted for Grady and myself.

Like Joanna says "You're like a rabid pit-bull when you've got your mind on something."

_____________I've got my mind on something___________ 

Fiona Apple

Say what I'm thinking dearest...

days like this, I don't know what to do with myself
all day -- and all night
i wander the halls along the walls and under my breath
i say to myself
i need fuel -- to take flight --

and there's too much going on
but it's calm under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion
under the waves in the blue of my oblivion

is that why they call me a sullen girl -- sullen girl
they don't know I used to sail the deep and tranquil sea
but he washed my shore and he took my perl
and left and empty shell of me

and there's too much going on
but it's clam under the waves, in the blue of my oblivion
under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
under the waves in the blue of my oblivion
it's calm under the waves in the blur of my oblivion