Self-Portrait

 How do you view yourself?  I assess myself a lot.  That should probably be written more like A LOT!  If there were a job trying to figure out what I wanted to be in life, I'd be doing it and damnit... I'd be doing it WELL.  F'n well.  This week alone I've gone from being

a teacher
a tech writer
a photographer

GET IT TOGETHER MAN!  OR... should I say  WOMAN!!!  I know I look ridiculous.  I know I'm off my rocker to my family.  I should probably have my thought processes run rampant in silence.  But let's face it; that's not my style.  I'm not exactly a quiet one.  And if I am quiet around you,  you can assume one of two things, you make me nervous or I don't like you. 

This is the look I give myself when I've changed my mind again.  Yep.   I have an inner mom.  She's grounded, well rounded, tough, beautiful, loving, strict, has it together.  The girl up above is lost, vulnerable, scared, an overall mess, if you will...

But I'm always thirsty for knowledge.  It's a blessing and a curse in a way.  I love to know and know and know, but when you learn something new, you end up learning something NEW FROM THE NEW THING AND THEN A NEW THING FROM THE NEW NEW THING!!!! BAHHHH!!!!   It's endless.  I don't seem to stop and focus on one thing.  If I do, I'm a mad scientist practically obsessed.  I'd have crazy hair and bulging eyes screaming "It's Alive!!!" if I had enough ability to focus on one thing. 

Discipline helps.  Like having a job you have to go to, you have no choice, things of that nature.  That helps get a fire under my butt.  My job has been Grady for the past 5 years.  He's a job alright.  He's (to me)  neat.  My kid isn't ordinary.  And I wouldn't want it any other way.  He exhibits the kindness and tenderness of his mother and the mathmathical and obsessive compulsive disorder of his father, he'll worry about the cute baby penguin in a movie to the point of tears, but has no problem bashing the crap out of an innocent bug if it's grossing him out.  He can figure out computer things better than I can in some situations at the age of 5, asks questions that are WAY beyond his age level, negotiates school work, expresses his feelings fully to me, and adores Legos.  They are the end all, be all, of his existence.

Today I was asked to shoot a wedding.  My friend Lindsey, she's super pretty... might as well be a model in my opinion.  I'm going to do it for a very low price and in the mean time, practice my photography skills.  We still don't have a kitchen (going on month 6) so that extra income is needed.  I'm in the process of teaching myself Adobe Creative Suite, and hoping to get a little start up side business going.  This is the perfect age, what with all the people I know having babies and marriages and engagements and what not.

Here goes.

Again.